i’m miserable
my dimples have subsided
i’m invisible; or i’m hiding
who knows
maybe melvin & his blue notes
while his acoustics, loosen my noose a bit
he’s seen me passed out
with my flask out; clutching a crucifix, with beads on it
these sonnets, should be perceived as if they have leaves on it
branches dancing in the wind; dying in autumn
the coldest winter begins
as i am reminded i’m haunted; paying for my sins
only a few; still two is like ten
this drunken stagger’s not swagger
rather reflecting something grim, & sadder
pieces of a man, wanting a dad or, someone who matters
someone that understands; feeling my pain, by holding my hand
excuses gather, though i’ll never complain
& i’ll never explain, why i am, who i am
hearing the chatter, of my teeth knocking
shivering, looking like i’m beat boxing
blowing my palms, showing my mom
i’m well aware the storm’ll be gone
eventually
till then, spilling this pen, drenching sheets
till hearts & souls are filled in
with fulfillment, from quenching me
i don’t ask for much
just to be, that parent who leads, dads & sons
& to she, who marries me; there's ever lasting love
& clarity, for my life’s disparities, fogging my glasses up
before my life passes up
the coldest winter
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