illshow

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until i don't die


when i'm protecting my family
who's protecting me
when i'm protecting my family
from who's protecting me
they failed, & we're failing
that ain’t said skeptically
get peeved, grieve, then leave, bailing
rather than curtailing collectively
stop being a bucket of crabs
when someone needs help
hashtag, it's too fuckin bad; go do it yourself
have nots, condemning the haves
the haves pretending to have & pretending to help
more or less than they have
the givers giving until they relapse
& collapse back to deaf, dumb, & blind
when death numbers climb
& we're left wondering why
& no, i don't have the answers Sway
all i know is, i don't wanna die today
& i don't wanna live if every day
i think i'm gonna die today
minding my business
cause yes, i’m one of them niggas
being as Black as i wanna be
so in front of me’s, mr. stop & frisk us
since i fit descriptions of niggas they dream about lynching
since 1760… 1860… 1960… 2016… 2060…

my attire & demeanor’s seen as a misdemeanor
& since i’m not smiling, i’m meaner
i’m a threat, i’m aggressive, even if i’m just eating breakfast
charges stack up, like tetris
escalating to a need for back up
till my back’s dumped, on a stretcher
i was just whistling or waving
taking a knee; you just see misbehaving & acting up
intimated by the bass, & the cadence of my urban vernacular
maybe my hoody's my cape; giving me strength
so with my hands up, i can fly away
since you say, you still don't feel safe
& proceed to aim… fire away
or one of me, needs six of you, so i don't escape
to, what'd you say, tackle this ape
with a chokehold & taser; subdue me
& then spray six shots through me; just in case
i don't stop moving
while you're standing your ground
it’s so sad, this isn't a movie
a dead man walking; here's how it sounds

facts… you aim at all blacks
i only blame some whites
& i only blame some swine with glock 9’s & flashlights
who see my life as three fifths of his, right
but blame won't bring in indictments
& praying won't bring back the lifeless
incarceration & conversation on races
won't make this right the ship
tweeting & posting don’t mean that you’re righteous
racist & hatred's been a lubeless, double penetration  
all our goddamn life; shit
i'm tired, but i can't stop writing this
until i don't die; this is what frightened is
voila, introducing a new civil rights movement
finally enlightenment
completely united & complete cooperation
from the oppressed congregation
which just might save your life a bit
boycott & walk out their shit
get information & get in formation; shit
remember the past
when the committed united
& made a commitment to fight, & get in that ass
but you still ain’t drop your nfl pass
you’re binging handmaids & high castles
while hashtags are your band aids to our same hassles
news flash, the next nigga’s neck’s in a lasso
assholes, shit happens when we're at war outside
i’m driving, get in, don’t get out, get ready to ride
& save our kids lives
ain’t no, forget or forgive, the next night
this is for yesterday, today & tomorrow
this ain't for follows
don't like this, or heart this
no emoji prayers or self serving marches
this don't mean violence, this means no silence
make exhausting triumphs, till we stop dying

                                        until i don't die

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